Depression: The Cycle

So, I was having a pretty ok day today. Things were going well: I'd gotten up in time to take a shower and dry my hair, I had some chocolate milk for breakfast, I'd gotten to school early enough to get some of my homework done, I walked in late to first period but was not counted tardy, I didn't have to do anything for tech class/first period, and besides all that, I'd seen my true love before the day had started!! (mmm, happy tingly warm fuzzie feeling inside... yum!)

But, second period came around and all of a sudden I was out, dropping off into that welcoming black oblivion called sleep. Strangely enough though, as the class wore on, we conducted an experiment that gave me quite a shock. No, literally, we like turned on some electricity and got shocked for "acting like a battery". It got my blood pumping and it was exhilarating, but my body felt weird, so weird in fact to be a bad kind of weird feeling. I suddenly didn't feel as happy, a headache started coming on, I couldn't concentrate, and I started to lose feeling in my hands and arms. But, I still had some of the happiness that I'd felt all morning with me, plus I knew that I still had something, or rather, someone, to look forward to seeing in between second and third.

---The bell rings to signal the end of second period, and all of a sudden I'm hit with a wave of butterflies fluttering around in my stomach; I want to see him so bad, and yet, ...*frustration* GAHH!! I'm only 15!!! Why??

Oh, anyways, back to the story: I gather my stuff and walk out of the classroom, to find my twin and my friend talking just outside the door. We begin our journey down the hall when suddenly, there he is!! The tall one, head and sholders above the rest of the crowd, but I see him and I can tell: something's not right. Something must have happened to make him lose the light in his eyes and look a little bitterly at the world.

I smile and wave, despite the agitation I feel eminating from him. He comes near and the first thing he says is, "They've been stolen!" He continues, "Someone took them from my backpack when I was in P.E. ...and that was like $400 of stuff..." and I understand. He looks like he could crawl into a corner and cry, and I want to just hug him and tell him everything will be okay, but the abruptness of it all shocks me and I'm speachless. We stand there for a few moments in an akward silence, then we say our see ya's and leave for third period, and all the while I can feel his pain. The feeling I get at that moment sticks, and it follows me around all through third, and lunch, and fourth, and the 30 minute walk home, and even when I finally do reach my house, I can't concentrate on anything because I can't help feeling bad for him. I love him so much, and no one deserves anything like this to happen to them, especially him!!

The rest of my day was spent thinking of him, and how I want to cheer him up and make him happier, mostly because one of my major life's goals is to cheer up the depressed and keep a constant happy face to make others be happy, but also because I love him, and he doesn't deserve to be this way. He's a good kid, and it shouldn't have been him, it shouldn't have!! (It actually shouldn't be anyone, for that matter...) So guys, for a future reference: don't steal! - it hurts people more than you know, and more people hurt than you know too...

But, I gotta keep moving on, gotta keep living life as well as can be... so:

"Tomorrow's another day,
And I am not afraid...
So bring on the rain!!"

Because rain makes me happy :D -er than any other kind of weather... plus it reminds me of him! yay.